Text from Healing From
Hate Crimes
Text/Images Copyright © 1995-2008. All Rights Reserved.
Children
of the Camps
Help Make Hate Homeless
by Anne M. Cox
July 30, 1998
Copyright © 1998
When I was in college, I couldn't see why there were courses
required that didn't appear directly related to the degree I was
seeking. Physics, Algebra, Philosophy? My area of interest was
writing, for which I would do whatever necessary ~ as long as
it was legal ~ to enroll in related courses. A friend had told
me about an English class being offered, and then an article appeared
in the newspaper about the course and its objectives; the class
was in high demand. Like everyone else who wanted placement in
that course, I stood in the registration line: Seven hours in
the rain till I advanced to the front of that line, and was enrolled.
I spent the first day of the class in a hospital emergency room.
Excruciating physical pain hit first; then, I couldn't walk. I
missed the first class session: Arthritis had decided that that
was a good day to assert itself. I wasn't overly-joyed about it,
yet it was beyond my control. I didn't plan for it; it just happened.
I also didn't expect that the course instructor would take me
aside during the second class session and advise that I "give
up" my enrollment "for a student who really wants the
class." I didn't like that idea: I wanted the class or I
wouldn't have stayed in the rain waiting in line with others to
register.
When I went to enroll, I had information with me that was from
my rheumatologist; the doctor's notations could have advanced
me to the front of the line for registering. I chose to keep the
information to myself. I didn't want to be treated any differently
from other people. I only wanted to enroll in that course.
Once in the class, I wasn't leaving. I thought: I'll have to prove
myself; I'll have to show that I'm serious. Writing well could
help demonstrate what I thought was needed: I really wanted
to be in the class.
By the time the semester had ended, I had earned the highest grade
among the students in that class, by far surpassing what was required
to garner an "A." I had nearly forgotten, by that time,
what had taken place earlier in the semester. The instructor had
not: He, again, took me aside, only, this time, he apologized.
I think we both learned some things from the experience. The grade
hadn't evolved from wanting to make a point: It flowed naturally
from my interest in the topics and wanting to make the most of
the opportunity to participate fully in the class I had wanted
so badly.
Still, I felt how it is to face discrimination ~ based on having
a chronic medical condition that is frequently misunderstood by
others. (I'm guilty of that myself: Until I was diagnosed with
arthritis, I had heard, and believed, that arthritis is an "old"
persons' disease affected by weather or excessive weight placed
on ~ weight-bearing ~ joints. Stereotypes haven't applied: I've
not yet been a senior citizen and I've always been "lean."
Arthritis determines, on its own accord, when it is time to remind
me that it is ever-present, and, at times, it can stop me in my
tracks and have me follow its cycle until the worst of its debilitating
effects subside.)
A friend of mine had also enrolled in the class. She waited in
line just as I had. She wasn't asked to "give up" anything.
She didn't have arthritis. Her enrollment was presumed serious:
She didn't have to spend the first night of the class on an examination
table in a hospital emergency room.
I made it through the time spent in the hospital, even though
I thought, at that time, the pain would kill me. I went to physical
therapy religiously ~ three times each week ~ so I could walk,
take care of myself, attend college, and, most especially, complete
the coursework for classes I selected and very much wanted.
All I needed was a chance. Not special treatment, only an opportunity
and equal access.
It isn't fair and it isn't right to dismiss someone or treat someone
differently. It happens because of ignorance. People who don't
understand will make excuses to rationalize hurtful words and
actions taken against others. It's wrong.
My friend who enrolled in the same class as me: She didn't need
the course to graduate. And she knew how heartbroken I felt; she
heard the instructor advise me to "give up" my enrollment.
"If you have to leave," she said, "I'm not staying."
I thought, "She's being a friend."
Her gesture was much more than that. I, now, can see it more clearly:
The relationship. It symbolizes: an active participant in life,
subject to an array of emotion and conditions; it can, at times,
be strong and resilient, and has a heart of its own pulsing to
rhythms and cycles of influences. And... it responds: Nurture
and nature. Everything and everyone is interconnected. Something
and someone feels the effects of all that we say and all that
we do.
Discrimination and bigotry hurt: Neither has earned a respectable
position in society. There is no justification for placing barriers
between people and the choices that should be available to all
~ without discrimination based on one's physical condition, race,
religion, age, or orientation. Some will say it's Civil Rights;
some will say it's Affirmative Action; some will say it's Title
this or that. I say: Ethical, Equitable, Equal...
It is fair treatment. It is Human Rights.
When James Byrd, Jr., was murdered in Jasper, Texas, June 7, 1998,
the tragedy that struck his family, hit many people across the
nation very hard. The heinous act committed ~ how and why he was
killed ~ defies logic. There is no excuse for hate-motivated violence.
Yet the aspect that touches me more than anything about his life
and the brutality committed against him: It was a criminal act
against the United States. No, it wasn't the same magnitude as
the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building (Oklahoma
City, April 19, 1995): One man's life was stolen June 7. His life
was as special as all the people killed by the bombing in Oklahoma
City.
Most of us had never heard Mr. Byrd's name before that tragic
day in June. Yet his name is one we should never forget. He was a man of great importance. He was America: Its promise; Its ideals;
Its aims. We, like additional countries, are a nation of dreamers
and visionaries. We are a second-chance continent: People, oppressed
and denied Human Rights, have journeyed to America, against all
odds, seeking a better life for themselves and their families.
The United States is not perfect; no nation has achieved such
stature. We are all human, and, as such, we are fallible, not
perfect.
Mr. Byrd's life enveloped aspirations shared by many Americans:
To determine a destination and set a course. He was a man, who,
like most people, made some mistakes as he journeyed through life.
And, as a result of some of the choices he made, he learned: Experience
is a fine teacher. He chose a different path for himself. He had
hopes. And: He had a right to discover who he was, who he wanted
to be, where he wanted to go, what he wanted to achieve. He had
a favorite song: I
Believe I Can Fly. He had dreams: Denied. His life was
taken by a senseless act of brutal violence. His chances were
murdered. The tragedy of his death: the promise, the hope, the
belief in a second chance, the ideals: Stolen. America was robbed
of a precious person. We have been deprived.
When most of us think of terrorism, it is generally in relation
to the potential for threat posed by other countries. Yet the
greatest threat ~ and challenge ~ lies within: Our own country,
our own states, our own cities, our own streets, our own hearts:
The soul of our home.
For far too long, we have been silent partners.
We seek benefits of life, yet hesitate to invest ourselves in
its security and in sustaining its future ~ long-term. If we don't
see how something affects us directly, we don't get involved,
we don't take a stand, we don't make a committment.
Racism, discrimination and bigotry are wrong and endeavor to erode
the soul of our home. The heart of the U.S.: The Constitution.
Censorship isn't needed ~ not as long as we have consumer awareness
and activism. We each make choices every day of our lives. We
can also select to exercise free expression in opposition to hate-mongers.
The only requirement: Don't do business with companies providing
service to groups advancing an agenda promoting: racial separatism,
purity, or purification; religious intolerance; discrimination;
bigotry.
There is no need to harass domains advocating their unpopular
beliefs and values; there is no need to contact the Internet Providers
(IPs). The message will deliver itself: People are making a long-term
investment in Life by not doing business with businesses harboring
hate-mongers/bigots.
The following IPs host hate/bigotry:
ACCESSCOM.NET
AT&T WorldNet Service - Personal Web Pages @att.net
CLEARLIGHT.COM
CNCHOST.COM
EARTHLINK.NET
4BIZ.NET
HOST4U.NET
IDT.NET
MAIKON.NET
OAR.NET
SIMPLENET.NET
WAMNET.NET
WINDOWSNT.BAYSIDE.NET
WORLDLINK.WPWW.COM
How useful or productive is it for IPs to draft and post terms
of service if personnel ~ with IPs ~ neglect taking time to examine
what is being hosted and whether the conditions for hosting have
been violated? Individual account holders create pages (and they
are directly responsible for the content), yet IPs may establish
conditions for providing service to host domains/pages, which
they can: check peridocially to discover if terms have been breached;
and, recruit personnel to monitor as well as to market
for drawing new clientele. Terms of service and policies are only
as good as the intent to fulfill and the results of consistent
follow-through efforts.
Everyone makes a choice. Make yours. Support hate or help it become
homeless: Having an account with an IP hosting supremacists, separatists,
racists, or bigots is supporting those groups. Services available
through an IP are made possible by customers' collective dollars.
In other words: No matter how appealing or attractive the services
afforded the account holders ~ via add-ons, et cetera
~ those same services are provided to the hate sites by the same
IPs, many of which do not cite hate-mongers' sites in their lists
of clients with accounts being hosted. Such IPs: Filled with an
abundance of pride, and wanting to keep the information a secret?
Reluctant to tout the pages because it may inspire other customers
to have their pages hosted by a different IP? Not had ample time
to update pages listing clients? Still in-the-dark after media
accounts on hate sites hosted? Take your pick.
A reduction in revenues will send a message to IPs (and companies
providing their backbone). IPs, too, have the opportunity to exercise
free expression: Create and implement account policies and terms
of service respectful of all people: Hate has no home.
Laissez-faire complements free expression: Libertarians, conservatives,
liberals, and so on, should have no problem with consumers exercising
free-will and with companies making a choice. Enacting and enforcing
anti-hate hosting standards is not censorship; it is individual
companies determining and following policy they believe will help
or hurt their business. Free-market economies are consumer-driven.
There is no need for censorship and there is no need for those
crying foul to government representatives because their pages
promoting hate have lost hosting services. Bigots either want
government overseeing the Internet or they do not, yet they cannot
have it both ways simultaneously. It is a self-contradiction to
seek two-fold goals standing in direct juxtaposition. Hate-mongers
want free expression, and, surely, they don't endeavor censorship
of IPs setting policy with a conscience for all their customers.
No one forces anyone to maintain an account or prevents anyone
from creating hate-clusters for serving domains.
It is unlawful to sound a false alarm, let's say by, shouting
"Fire!" in a theatre filled with patrons, which could
lead to injury or people getting hurt. Is it less unlawful to
declare that "whites" are endangered and must fight
for "white" rights or face extinction? Sounding a false
alarm is wrong: War has not been waged against "whites"
~ wanting non-government presence in order to promote hate/bigotry
and, yet, concurrently wanting to draw from government treatises
to articulate dissension. Government is good only when advantageous
to "whites"?
Divest hosting hate, which belongs homeless.
Healing
from Hate Crimes
A
Lesson: Avoid an Abyss of Indifference
Letter
to the Honorable James T. Ford, Superior Court
Victim
Witness Statement, 1995 Sentencing
Summer
of Hate, Sign of Hope
Rock-Soft
Fences
Internet
Filtering, Letter to Senator John McCain
Related
Resources
About the Author...
In Other Words
By: Mary K. Stroube, Attorney At Law
To: Sacramento Metropolitan Arts Commission
Date: March 27, 1996
...Anne Cox came from what was an extreme dysfunctional environment.
She was physically and sexually abused, neglected, impoverished
and suffers from several painful medical conditions. She dropped
out of school, ran away, married early to avoid returning to her
family and was abused in that relationship. Unfortunately maybe
this isn't such an unusual background these days.
What is unusual is how Anne has taken her life experiences and
gone on to be the well-respected and valuable local and national
voice that she has become.... She committed herself to various
community-service internships, which she fulfilled including writing
public relations materials [while in college] and launching a
scholarship program. Consistently she kept giving back although
little had been given to her in the first place.
....She sees writing as a creative means of self-help and an effective
means of teaching people about child abuse and its effects. It
lets survivors know they are not alone. Perhaps more importantly,
she is trying to communicate that not all victims become perpetrators....
When our Sacramento community was rocked by hate crimes recently,
Anne published a special edition addressing this phenomenon. It
was well-received. She's published other special editions to address
particular needs. She's worked with one of our Assembly members
to develop legislation to add a hate crime enhancement for rape.
Her publications have wide readership among law enforcement, legislators
and the general public. Therapists know of her publications because
they often recommend them to clients.... She devotes countless
hours to her work. She is always giving and seldom receives the
support or compensation to match her efforts.
Let me add one other important part. I also teach Law and Ethics
for Marriage Counselors... so I spend a lot of time dealing with
ethical considerations in clinical practice. If everyone in our
community put the thought and deliberation into their efforts
and work that Anne naturally and routinely does, we'd all be better
off for it. She is meticulous in her decisions about what to print
or say, what to support or endorse, how to respond. She is thoughtful.
She is caring. She is truly devoted to the "greater good."
As I reread what I have written, this sounds too good to be true.
But all of this is true about Anne. After years in law, I have
become all too jaded, but I have the utmost respect for Anne's
work and for the person she is and is becoming....
Set Sale
by Anne M. Cox
Copyright © 1996-1998
published previously |
The sun parts company
with the evening sky
saying
its good-bye
and
I try:
Another time
I close my eyelids tight
and
attempt telling you
good-night
~ forever.
But father,
it never works
completely
right.
You
see, I feel empty.
Your face,
a trace of your impression,
memory
of your presence...
all
have been erased.
You have no space in my mind.
You died with the ascent of many
moons...
You
stole the sun
belonging
to your children.
I find: Your behavior was subhuman
and you fall beneath contempt.
If
you were different and not so twisted,
maybe
I could envision you.
The only thing I imagine, who you might have been then:
Not the rapist biology and genetics may
have defined as "Dad";
a
guess since you refused the tests to help discern the truth about
you;
Not the violent abuser relatives and
friends said was "parent";
Not the aggressor nearby residents called
"neighbor";
Not a criminal who masqueraded and thought
that made him "father."
You ever wonder who you could have been...
instead of how your children picture
you: Not.
A
total blank spot is you to me.
I
don't see you as you may view yourself.
To me, you're a nothing, a dead feeling,
a relationship that never lived,
a
promise to "parent" broken,
a
lifetime of days children set time aside to spend with their
"Fathers,"
unlike
your sons and daughters who wouldn't think of you ~
if
not for the sale of greeting cards set for giving June 16.
Another day,
another time
I
shut my eyelids tight to keep the light from hurting
now
that you no longer block the sun. |
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